1. |
My Friend Dead
00:55
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Couldn’t be more bitter. Gotta fake a good time. I waste my time thinking of what I should not have said. Ghost in my home now. Growing up abruptly. I live my life being what I think that I should be. If there’s a problem calmly say so. If I can bother I’ll be there for-
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2. |
Oh My God
01:44
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I hate everything about you. And everything about me. I want to be someone other than me. It’s gonna keep me up at night. Don’t leave me out, reinvest in someone else. I don’t belong. It’s not hard to feel bad when you’ve fucked someone else. When you’re fucked you can tell.
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3. |
Sunshine Kids
01:32
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Begin by going outside, it’s easy to burn in the sunshine. End it by saying goodbye, and never show pain on the outside. Trying to get through July when everyone’s having a good time. Everyone closes their eyes, it’s easier to live a short life. There’s a light in your head and it fuckin hurts. Let’s dance. You can’t get through the fuckin day; where the fuck’s the punchline? Do you wanna try your hand at rolling some dice?
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4. |
Brights
01:20
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Don’t worry, I like you. Just don’t really wanna go. I know they said something, I don’t really wanna know. Whenever I miss you, I just wanna talk it out. Doing that is hard when there’s nothing to talk about. Now I’m nighttime driving. Can’t tell if they’re flashing brights. Doing that is weird when there’s nothing to flash about.
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5. |
Monologue
01:18
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Cut a hole in your throat so you can see what it feels like to die. It's alright. Broken screen on your phone. Did you see what I wrote you last night? It's goodbye. I can't stop coming back to all the things I hate about myself. Keep your mouth shut. Don't say anything embarrassing. I'm so embarrassing.
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6. |
2am
02:07
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Pissing in the street. Exactly what it means. Every time I miss you I just wanna talk it out. Biking home at two am from the bar. Bunch of fucking yuppies, what a total bore. Meet me at master, all of us there. Do you ever miss that? People should laugh, smile again. I don’t need it. When you put on that album I swear it brings back a flood. You were part of that. When you sing out the lyrics I will write it out in blood. I know that you’ll vibe on that. Oh yeah! Go on, stand up if you’re able. Go on, stand up for yourself.
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7. |
Inner Dark
02:03
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Please unpack this year, not next year. The untouched luggage in the attic (keep telling yourself that). Awhile ago I packed the bags inside my head and prepared for the end. And you tell your friends I have yet to unpack this shit. Several days are given back; I wanna play for you again. Do you think it’s right? One white lie? Does that cross your mind?
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8. |
Think of You
01:41
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Wonder what you listen to while you putter around your room. Nobody can learn lessons in a vacuum, you need a friend to see it through. I’m not getting better, you know I’m not. Call you on the phone in the thick of it all. When you feel like shit and friends explicitly don't talk. Don’t think you know I think of you. My fix for closure overdue. And the wasted anger that accrued; what’s that say about me and you?
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9. |
Scared of Changing
02:28
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I’m gonna love everyone. I’m gonna strum the guitar. Cause that’s all I’ve ever known. No, I’m not at the show. I wanted to dance. I wanted to know who’s holding my hand. I wanted a smoke, just needed some rest. It’s not like before, I’m trying my best. I get tired sleeping in all day. Secondhand dream where you’re stuck in the middle and you can’t move in between. Can't get by working minimum wage. Try to make time to be ok in your life and I’ll be ok in mine. Uninspired. Will drink all damn day. Don't get fired for showing up late. But I don’t wanna drink alone. I don’t like to play that card. But that’s all I’ve ever known.
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10. |
Ready Set Rock
01:35
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Tricka’s on the west coast. Andrew’s going Tokyo. Kevin’s coming back soon; a college graduate, fuck yea! (Now I’m back, I didn’t learn much. If anything I learned the band’s my crutch.) I think I could get by, but it’s the people there who make it work worth your time. Cus riding bikes or drinking beer never feels quite right when you’re alone. Ready. Set. Rock. (Drop your pen, you're trying too much. Just relax and get out of the rut.) That’s how I’ll spend my time. I’ll be thinking of them on the day I die. They’re the ones who let me know that it’s alright. I’m not alone.
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11. |
The Journal
01:43
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You took the better shot. I knew it’d be the one. And I never wanna stay this fucked up. You’ve got the gun in your hand, the bullet’s in my chest. I’ll write a better song that name drops you less. Look me in the eyes. Show me you’ve got the guts. You talk shit you better have it backed up. It’s my life. But it’s fine. I’ll just write it off this time, in a journal found outside. And I’ll try not to be so uptight. You know I can’t help it sometimes. If anyone ever misses their friends; they’re walking home or they’re taking the stairs. If anyone ever said I was weird; if what’s in my head’s such a mystery, I don’t care.
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12. |
Letters to Ghosts
01:48
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It’s not your fault connections crumble in a jenga puzzle. Some don’t stay even if you write. But we have something nice. We have so much, I’m terrified I need more out of life. I’ll learn the hard way. I will stay and write. Pain is meaningless and will be ending soon. It sometimes feels like life is pushing me out of the room. Some headaches don’t get better but we’ll keep the pen in tune. It sometimes feels like life is pushing me out of the room until I'm gone. But we have something nice. Try not to sleep a lot. Remember what you got. You've gotta be happy.
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13. |
Fake Smile
01:59
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I wake up each day and weaker. I wear a hole in the t-shirt. I fake smiles when I speak. I find lies in his teeth. I know I get better when I’m honest with myself. It’s calming. Speak to me the palm that reads a lethal forecasting of hauntings. Call me your conscious deceiver. Take drugs to see things much clearer. I find my apathy. I see my mind empty.
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14. |
Perfect Life
02:28
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Of course I fuckin know what went wrong but I will change the subject of the song. Whenever you sing in the car alone, just remember your allergy to sad bullshit. If you were to ask me a year ago, maybe then I wouldn’t have choked on my spit. It’s all these young kids strumming guitar. They know not what they do wrong. They know not just whom they love. They only know shoegaze songs. Park the car, unbuckle and a hug goodbye. Same time again tomorrow in this perfect life.
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